Week One: How Calorie Counting Changed My Life or Eat Your Heart Out Inspirational Shows About Weight Loss

Hi All! I bet you're all so excited to know how I did week one, aren't you?! Wellllll... I'm not telling. Just kidding. I'll get straight to it in case you don't really wanna continue reading but just want to know if I'm an epic fail yet or not... I lost *drum roll* 2 1/2 lbs this week.


Yes, it's a loss and yes, I am a little disappointed BUT I discovered an amazing truth. No matter what diet you are on, it's not REALLY okay to eat and drink whatever you want. Shock and awe abounds I tell you! What do you mean you can't eat whatever you want?! What do you mean I cannot down three bottles of wine on a Wednesday and count the calories and still not lose weight?!


There it is folks, the ugly ugly truth is out there. It doesn't matter if you're counting points, counting calories, or doing a headstand while sucking slim fast through a straw... if you are eating the wrong kinds of foods, no amount of counting will save you.


What kills me is I KNEW THIS! And yet, because counting calories (which for all those playing at home is how I'm proceeding with this diet)... because this way of dieting is something I've never tried before, I actually fooled myself into thinking I could eat a muffin worth 800 calories and still lose weight during the week. Yes yes I know what you're thinking... But Holly, you DID lose weight! I did and hooray for me but I want you readers to take away the bigger picture here and be dumbfounded by the knowledge (as I was) that eating healthy calories will make you lose more and you will lose faster.


I think that a tiny part of me wasn't ready to admit this simple simple simple truth because no one WANTS to give up eating those little things that make you happy. I've always been a proponent of the justification clause on every diet... you know, that time when you say, "I have to eat at least ONE thing a week that's bad for me so I don't crave it and go crazy." I guess for some people, that might be okay. If you've got some jiggly bits and you love them, you'll lose your 15 or 20lbs and be happy eating that Snicker's Bar every Tuesday. I don't condemn you at all. I love you, I love your jiggly bits and I'd love to be eating your Snicker's bar... but that's the problem with me. I don't have just 15 or 20lbs to lose. I'm shooting for that 100lbs and in week one I've learned, that those things the trainers say on weight loss shows aren't just to make people cry and they aren't just to make fat people feel bad. I really do have to want this MORE than I want that horribly delicious muffin from the cafe in my work building. I really do have to want this MORE than I want to rob the Cheesecake Factory at gunpoint of all the cheesecake they have on hand. And finally, the biggest truth, I have to want this more than I want to drink... So I have to really start knowing that I DO, in fact, want this more than those things or there will be no point.


Well kids, that concludes Week 1 of the journey. I know that you'll all be dying to know what happens this week. Even if you're not, I'll still be back with Week 2 next Sunday or Mondayish. Big shout outs to everyone who left me a comment in support of this venture. I appreciate and love you all. Come back next week for more of my fatty adventures and revelations!


Love, Holly

7/23/12

324.5 lbs

Size   26/28

Working on going back to the gym.

1/2 Pack a Day Smoker

Prelude to the Next 365 Days of My Life

What am I doing? I'm deciding to publicly put up a blog about my quest to lose 100 lbs in one year. Why am I doing this? Welllll... that's a bit harder to answer. I think I'm doing it because a part of me wants to know that there are people out there who want to see me succeed at weight loss and I feel more accountable knowing I will be blogging about my week and my weight. 


But let's not get some things twisted. A few things to know here... 
1. I'm not looking for people to criticize me. I get judged everyday by complete strangers in the way they look at me and some unfortunate "whispers" I've overheard by people. I'm not so sensitive that it really bothers me but.... I, like almost every human on the planet, don't like being judged by my outer appearance. One of the things I've noticed about people is that they are so quick to call fat people names and say horrible things about them because they're overweight but the minute that fat person tries to lose weight, people REALLY start to pile on the criticism, making it even harder on the confidence of the person trying to lose. So don't hate. No one is forcing you to follow, read, or comment on this blog.


 2. I'm doing this for me. To be healthy and fit and be able to take care of my daughter and husband... I think that being healthy will help me to better do that. Since having baby Olivia, my body is not the same as it once was. While I have been heavy all my life, I feel that I've reached an unsafe weight that will lead to multiple health problems and cut my life with my family back considerably. 


3. Expect complaining some weeks when you read this. If you've ever tried to lose any amount of weight in your life, you know that it's hard. I'm not going to be Suzy fucking sunshine "I love working out and eating salad all the time!" I'm going to be pissed when I don't lose, I'm going to be complaining about not getting to eat the ice cream or giving up the few extra beers at the bar. I don't expect that to be all I blog about but don't jump my shit when I get a bit whiny about giving up some of the things I really like. 


These things being said, I appreciate and welcome meal suggestions, workout suggestions, encouragement and motivation. Humor and love also accepted. This is why I'm choosing to blog about this challenge... because while exposing myself in this way is extremely embarrassing, I know that it's going to be a push to do my best.


Starting tomorrow, July 15, 2012 until July 13, 2013 I am going to try to lose 100lbs. Right now, my biggest challenge is time to get to the gym and workout. I do have some home workouts and I know there is some supplementing that will take place. In addition to losing the weight, I think the smoking has got to go. I don't want to be in the middle of this process and have a stroke. While I'm giving up bad habits, quitting seems logical. However, I don't quite know if I'm going to be able to make that leap.. but I want to and I am going to try my best. 


So, cheers to the old outer me... I'll still be the same sarcastic and loving person I always was, just without the feeling that death is stalking me. And thanks in advance to my followers for participating/encouraging me in something that will change me forever. 


Much Peace and Love, 
Holly 

7/14/12

326 lbs

Size   26/28

No current workouts

1/2 a  Pack- 1 Pack a Day Smoker